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Monday 20 August 2007

I'm sorry, but size does matter.

I have tried to kid myself that size doesn’t matter for a while now. I thought I’d be satisfied with something smaller but I’m not. I thought a taste would be enough, it’s not.

Manufacturers should not be allowed to make the mini versions of their products whether its ice creams or chocolate bars. This is a terrible thing and puts me in a position where I think I will be satisfied with one portion, when I know realistically I won’t be.

I will have one of these unsatisfying things and at first I will feel all virtuous. I sit there thinking “Look at my self control. I am a living example of restraint and will power.”. Ten minutes later I am normally surrounded by more wrappers, having given in to the feeling that I have not had enough and as they are so small anyway, that one more (ok, three more) wouldn’t hurt.

I know that by then I have consumed far more than any reasonable person should, but I refuse to feel guilty. I know that I have just eaten more than a standard size portion, but I refuse to take responsibility. I blame this solely on the fool that thought this concept up. They were obviously some sadistic person who enjoys thinking of ways to attempt to torture other people as well as instil guilt. Well, I refuse to play their game any more. From now on, I will only choose the biggest version of chocolately goodness (even if it does make me feel a little bit sick!).

7 comments:

Heather said...

mhmmmm...preach on sister.

i'm in the front row pew agreeing with every word you say.

my pockets heavy with all those itsy bitsy teeny weeny wrappers.

mind trip. totally.

Agnes Mildew said...

I have just read an hilarious article (it was intended to be serious) about ways one can reduce a saggy stomach (and thus get away with the chocs, I guess?)

Fill up on fibre (that gives me wind and thus makes my stomach like a ball)
Bin the chewing gum (surely that stops you scoffing choccie?)
Eat Lettuce (Are you still awake?)
Don't use straws (oh purlease!)
Cut out fizzy drinks (gives you wind...)
And stop smoking...
What?
It traps air in your belly, so it seems...Well, I like most other smokers, do inhale...but then I exhale...A sneaky L & B has never given me the gut of Jack Duckworth.

Eat your chocolate and enjoy it! Life's too short to deny oneself a hunk of Cadbury's!!

alcoment said...

wishful - I don't think we're the only ones who hate this. We should start a petition to cease the production of these things immediately!


agnes - I'd be screwed if I tried to follow that article! I chew gum constantly, drink fizzy drinks through straws (I'm such a rebel!) and always have a cigarette in my hand. I've never been into self denial and have no intention of starting. But, I know there are people out there that follow this kind of advice religiously, I don't understand!

PS What's lettuce ;)

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Love it!! I completed related to your post, I am just the same. If I buy the mini sizes I have to buy them individually - my deli sells them singly - otherwise I'd be lying on the floor in a chocolate induced food coma.

alcoment said...

Ah, I can see the individual ones are the way to go for some people. Unfortunately I would end up walking to and from the shop several times just to get my fix!! Join me in the rebellion and just buy big!

Rosie said...

I thought I commented on this yesterday because it really gave me a chuckle. I've tried all sorts of self psychology on myself including freezing the treats and counting out only two or three. I usually end up with a sore mouth from trying to chew frozen chocolate.

alcoment said...

Ooo, Ive never tried freezing chocolate. I think I'd end up with a sore mouth too, I much prefer instant gratification!