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Monday, 3 September 2007

That's (not) entertainment...

One of the things that most of us have a problem with is getting older. We all know that we’re aging and that there’s little we can do about it, but it’s something the majority of us resist. We also all have things we associate with ‘being old’. For me, its things like Bingo (though I did play once on a ‘Butlins’ type holiday and won £90!), bowling on the green, socks and sandals and anything that smacks of Saga.

It also seems worse when you don’t feel like the age you actually are and find yourself in a situation you’ve always thought of as the domain of the more mature.

One of my friends, Ms Not So Innocent, is currently going through this. As we speak, she will be cruising around the British Isles, alighting to visit some of more interesting parts and, whilst on board, being ‘entertained’.

Ms Not So Innocent is…umm…a bit older than me, though really doesn’t act like it. She is very funny, with quite a dry sense of humour, has a naughty streak and can certainly tell you some stories from her younger days. Oh, and she has a massive crush on Jarvis Cocker.

When her husband presented the idea of the cruise, Ms Not So Innocent seemed to be relatively ok with it. Sure, she had some concerns but overall liked the idea of visiting some of the places on the itinerary.

Then she read the brochure again.

Ms Not So Innocent became more and more concerned with the whole tone of the descriptions and the advice given. She recoiled at the suggestion that “Ladies often choose to wear cocktail dresses” and “Gentlemen are encouraged to wear a suit for dinner”. I think she became even more distressed when her husband actually got his suit dry cleaned!

The thought of the nightly entertainment drove her almost to distraction. Listening to someone sing covers of ‘Show Tunes’ is really not her Ms Not So Innocent’s thing. I think there was also a hint of the upcoming delights of shuffleboard and whist – though I suspect she may have blocked the full details from her mind. She did inform her husband that she may not wish to be ‘entertained’ and asked what he advised. Unfortunately the suggestion that she could stay in the cabin was not helpful. I think she may have been keener on mine to get drunk and create mischief!

I have said that next year I will take her holiday. She hasn’t said no yet…

5 comments:

Agnes Mildew said...

I think she could end up having a whale of a time if she befriends the stewards - they'll take her down to their quarters, where all sorts of fun and games go on...

She needs to befriend the gay stewards who will really lead her astray. Stay away from the blue-rinsers, though - she might just go 'woman overboard'!

Agnes Mildew said...

Hi Alcoment,
I was tagged with a meme today. I have never had one before and I don't really think I want one again, but I will play along this time.

I have tagged you in return. I hope you don't mind.
http://hexmyex.blogspot.com/2007/09/random-meme.html

alcoment said...

I hope she does befriend the stewards - much more her style!

No problem with the meme. I've never done one before, so I'll give it a go. Will let you know if I mind afterwards! ;)

Rosie said...

It's always entertaining stopping by here. Got a good chuckle over the whole pedallo incident. Don't think mini adult won't bring that up over some Christmas dinner when you least want her to. :-) Kids they live to torment us.

As for Ms Not so Innocent and her cruise I feel her pain. There seem to be party cruises for the single 20 somethings, or family cruises, or the blue-hair special. We're at that awkward age too old for one group or too young for another. It's puberty all over again. :)

alcoment said...

Ah, I know she will bring the pedallo incident up at some point, but I have ample material in which to blackmail and embarrass her with when she's a teen! I consider that to be an aunt's perogative!

I am hoping that Ms Not So Innocent has taken my advice to heart and is creating a bit of mischief on board - it would be much more entertaining!