It's not a shameful thing.

Loud and proud about your love for it? Guilty pleasure? Or complete turn off? Yep, I’m talking about porn! I love porn and use it on a regular basis, either alone or when I’m with a partner. I don’t want to go into the whole exploitation of women thing (maybe another day, but for the record, I don’t believe that it is exploitative in the majority of cases), I’m more interested in the enjoyment in it and some of the taboo around it.

It seems to be much easier for blokes to admit they like porn. They talk about it with their mates and I’ve had male friends that have watched it together (not in a sexual way, I’m not sure what it’s about – maybe a strange male bonding ritual?). In some ways porn seems to be a rite of passage. I don’t know many people who haven’t seen ‘Debbie Does Dallas’, or found their Dad’s or older brothers stash of porn mags.

Two of my friends know that I use porn – my best mate (female) and a male friend. Oddly, I’m much more open about it with the bloke (we exchange links and have quite a few conversations about it!). I don’t know if this is because it stills seems like a very male orientated pleasure. Hopefully this will change. Anna Span is Britain’s first female porn director, making more female friendly porn. And that’s the good thing about porn, there is something for everyone, whether you want hard or soft or what ever your turn on is, there will be a film about it.

I know several male friends who use porn but their girlfriends either don’t know, or they don’t want to share it with them. This seems to be because the girlfriend either thinks their bloke shouldn’t be doing it and views it as a form of cheating (I’m really not sure how that works, don’t they masturbate or ever fantasise about anyone else? It’s NOT cheating!), or they end up comparing themselves to the female star, assuming this is what their partner finds attractive (yes, of course they do, but they are with you and understand the difference between reality and fantasy, blokes are much more visual than women, who tend to go for a whole package). Sharing porn with your partner can be fantastic and a major turn on. And to be honest, I would have thought the blokes should have been more worried considering the stamina (and size!) of some male porn stars.

So if you haven’t tried porn yet and you’re curious, then give a mainstream film like 9 songs or 9 and ½ weeks a try, then go from there. You never know, you might even like it.