Two worlds colliding?

How many different sides to you do you have? And do any of them conflict with the other ones? I appear to have two main ones – my work self and non-work self. Though the two do overlap everyday, there are distinct differences between them and they often feel like they conflict with each other.

I work in mental health and spend my working days listening to people and advocating the benefits of establishing routine, not drinking excessively, remaining drug free and preaching the importance of mundane things such as budgeting, eating well, getting enough sleep and so on. To my clients, I am a confident, fair, sorted ‘grown up’ who leads a ‘good’ life. This is not the reality. In my personal life, I lead quite a chaotic existence. I drink far too much, rarely have food in the house, run out of money way before payday and generally get through the day by moving from one addiction to the other.

Don’t get me wrong, in some ways I am responsible, my rent and bills are always paid, I won’t do anything that would seriously compromise either my work or my beliefs but I seem to live a life of a teenager. I’m sure part of this is because I only really have to think of myself each day, I have no kids and I’m single, so I can essentially please myself.

So how do you know which is real? Is it the one that you are the majority of the time? In some ways I am paid to be how I am work and a lot of the time it feels like an act and I often feel hypocritical. I am the same in some ways, no matter what situation I’m in, but that’s more around my sense of humour and my general morals and personal ethics. How do you balance two very different sides to you? And what happens if the two worlds collide?