One of my addictions!

It’s amazing how easily we come to rely on technology and don’t really notice how much we take it for granted until it’s no longer there. I got an email from Best Friend today; she had been silent all weekend, which had been odd. She had been looking after 5 children and so I had been expecting desperate texts from her, yet…nothing. When I got into work there was an email saying that the little people had dropped her mobile into the washing up water, so now she had no mobile and, worse, no numbers!! We are in the process of sorting all of it out, but she admits to feeling lost without her phone.

I find it hard to manage without my mobile and hate not being able to contact people. It’s not as though I’m always getting calls or texts, but as soon as I find I’m not in signal range I get all panicky. I’m the same with the internet and emails. I have several email accounts at home, my main one that friends use and then other ones connected to various things on the web. On the rare occasions I can’t get online to check my mail I feel a bit odd and as if something is missing. But there are times that I thing it’s getting out of hand. The one day I stopped and thought was when I left the house carrying my laptop, checking I’d got both mobiles (my own and the work one) and turning my ipod on! As much as I love technology even I thought it was a bit too much.

Is there anyone under the age of 25 who remembers the old word processors, passing notes in class at school instead of texting, receiving a hand written letter from a friend, address books you have to write in and seeing an old fashioned dial landline that wasn’t a statement of retro chic!

As much as I sometimes think it’s all a bit too much, I can’t stop myself from eyeing up the latest mobile, feeling awe at how much they can cram into such a small thing and wanting the next, more advanced shiny new toy. I love the ping that says I have mail, the beep of a text coming through and the little lights winking at me when I turn the computer on.

Anyone else for Technoholics Anonymous...

Three's a crowd. Or is it?

A while ago I think I got propositioned for a threesome. This has been popping into my head every now and again since then and I’m still not sure what happened.

I was out with a group of friends for the night, the usual crowd for when we have a group night out, but with a couple of additions. I should probably explain that when we are out drinking, a few of us become very inappropriate and the conversation is uninhibited.

One of the additions that night was Woman I Want To Be Like, she’s hot, stylish and funny and fitted right in. I’ve known her for a while now and we’ve always got on ok. As more and more wine (and very little food!) was consumed, the conversation took its usual turn. There we were discussing sex, porn and holidays that are basically hedonistic orgies. Towards the end of the non-meal, Woman I Want To Be Like’s husband arrives. I chatted (or rather drunkenly rambled!) away with them both and was thinking how much they fitted in.

I was talking to some others in the group a bit later, sorting out whose house we were going to go back to. As I turned round to see if Mr and Mrs Woman I Want To Be Like were also coming, I saw they were leaving. When I asked, they said they were off for some fun. At that point Mr Woman I Want To Be Like said I was more than welcome to join them! Having already said I would go back to a friend’s house, I declined, making a joke of it. They then said that they could send me a DVD of their night!

When I woke up the next morning I remembered all of this and didn’t know what to make of it. Was it meant seriously? Or was it just a continuation of inappropriate (but very fun) conversations? The more I thought about it, the more I was sure that if I hadn’t already agreed to go back to another house and if I’d known they were serious, I would have certainly said yes. I’ve never had a threesome but it’s something I would love to experience. They both certainly come across as open and adventurous, so it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that they were testing the waters. I’ll have to invite them both on the next night out and see what happens!

Two things a girl should love?

When will I learn not to subject myself to the shopping centre on a Saturday? Each time I say I will not go back on a Saturday, but then I do! After work today I went up to get Mr Playmate’s birthday present. Though there were the same things to annoy me as last time I found new things to get irate about, and I didn’t even have a hangover! Other people, they drive me mad. Now, I know that many people like to wander around a shopping centre on the weekend, window shopping, meeting friends and generally enjoying themselves, but, oh my god!, why they hell can’t they get out of the way!

There I was, trying to end the hideous experience as quickly as possible but kept being thwarted by groups of people taking their own sweet time. What’s really selfish is that a large group will spread out across the whole of the walkway, you can’t get past them! Is this some new form of torture? Are they paid by someone to do this, maybe by a large retailer, forcing people to slow down and look at their shops? Surely that many people cannot be so unaware of others, they must hear the sighs and pleas from the people trapped behind them, and yet they do not move. I really think that shopping centres should install a dual carriageway system, just like on the roads. That way, you could have the slow lane for people who want to amble around, as if they were at a gallery experiencing great works of art, the Sunday Drivers of the shopping world so to speak. That would leave the fast lane for the formula one shopper’s, who know what they want and where to get it and are not going to tolerate being inched around some never ending system of tinny music and bad lighting. I wonder who I need to propose that to?

In other news, Poetry Man has sent me the biggest bouquet of flowers I have ever seen, they fill two vases! He says that they are a thank you for supporting him over the last few weeks. The problem is that they are just too over the top. He is lonely and has had an emotional crisis (unrequited love, never easy!) that he has been talking to me about. He never mentions friends, so I think I might be his only one. Poetry Man is a sensitive soul, goes for long walks, writes poetry and generally tortures his soul with life angst. It also appears that he’s into over the top gestures! A thank you to a friend (especially not a close friend) is not an expensive bunch of flowers. Stupidly I told Mr Playmate about this, who is taking great delight in taking the piss out of me constantly. What makes this worse is that this is the first bouquet anyone has ever sent to me. Don’t get me wrong, they are beautiful and look lovely in my lounge, but my first bouquet is from Poetry Man, not the way I wanted it to be!

From cyber to reality.

I think most of us would agree that the internet is basically a good thing. Yes, there are some negative sides to it, but its part of our everyday life. For me, one of the best things is being able to keep in touch with friends I don’t see very often and also for making new friends; usually those in other places that I would never get the chance to talk to in real life. And that’s the thing; the web connects so many people together, so what if you decide that you are going to meet someone from the internet in real life?

I’ve met two people that I originally met on the internet, both were certainly interesting experiences! Enter Mr Chickens and Charm and Mr Takeaway Tears. Mr C and C was a charming, older man who seduced me in real life with pet chickens and home cooking. After talking to him for a while online, I agreed to meet him. He turned out to be very different from his online alter ego, but I was attracted to who I met and ended up having a brief and intense affair, with some of the best sex I’ve ever had. It’s not something I regret at all and have some very fond memories; even now chickens always make me smile.

Mr TT was a very different experience. We met during my short lived dalliance with the world of internet dating. We had been exchanging messages for a few weeks, had spoken on the phone and got on. Our conversations had got more heated and it was clear what we both wanted to happen when we met. He came up to see me for a weekend and off I went to meet him, horny and full of expectations. Yet again, I met a very different person. Instead of the tall, long haired, sexy bloke in all the photos I had seen, I was greeted by the exact opposite. We went for a coffee, where he started to tell me that he felt he was stringing me along as he was still in love with his ex. I wasn’t that concerned by this. On seeing him in reality, I’m afraid that I was instantly turned off and was now wondering what I could do with him. I had decided that even though I was no longer interested, it didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. Throughout the day he regaled me with stories about ex Mrs TT, getting more and more upset, whilst I alternated between trying to both comfort and entertain him. The night ended with us in his hotel room, him sobbing over a Chinese takeaway, my friends only laughing at my ‘rescue me’ texts, whilst I fantasised about escaping through the window rather than swinging from the chandelier!

And that’s the thing about the internet. It gives us a space to be who we want to be, act how we want to act and become our alter ego’s. It also allows us to escape from our own reality and enter someone else’s. Unfortunately, two different realities rarely mix well. I don’t know if I will ever meet anyone from the internet in real life again. If I do, I’ll keep in mind that I don’t really know who’s on the other end of the modem.

On the record.

Funny thing this blogging lark. There are millions of blogs out there, whatever you can think of someone, somewhere has blogged about it. Some people use their blog to keep in touch with friends and family, others blog for anyone who cares to read and then there are those who choose to keep their blog private. It doesn’t seem to matter why or how we do it, we all seem to want to record our thoughts. I guess in some ways, blogging is the same as keeping a diary or writing letters to people, it’s a form of communication and a way of preserving ourselves, saying, we were here.

I used to blog a few years ago. I tended to use it as place to try and sort things out in my head. I guess it was a form of therapy for me, but I didn’t keep it up. I’m not sure why I started up again this time; it’s certainly a different style. Now I seem to blog about things I see or just put down my opinions about things. I don’t really mind if anyone else is reading it, though it would be nice if they were.

I didn’t write an entry last night, I was so tired when I got in from work, but I kept thinking about it in bed and realised that I missed writing something. It would appear that blogging can be an addictive thing. I’m not sure what I’m addicted to, it’s only been just over a week since I started, but I definitely felt funny not having posted an entry. Maybe it’s the basic human need to be heard and have our thoughts considered important.

Just good friends?

I think it was in Harry met Sally that there was the classic line of “men and women can’t be friends, sex always gets in the way.”. So, is this true? I have a few male friends, some closer than others. With the majority of them, sleeping with them would not even cross my mind, it’s never arisen (so to speak!) and I really can’t see a situation where it would. Sure, with a couple of them, we flirt, but it genuinely means nothing. One is happily married and with the other it’s only when we’re both drunk, in neither of these cases does it mean anything at all, apart from a bit of fun. I know both their partners and it’s not an issue.

But there is one. We’re quite close and often see each other just on our own, we do go out in a group too but our friendship is mainly conducted on a one to one basis. Our friendship has evolved into one based on talking about sex and porn and flirting outrageously with each other. Every time we meet there is a lot of sexual innuendo, initiated on both sides. This is the same whether we are alone or in a group. We are very touchy feely with each other and invade each others space a lot. To be honest I think this has just become a habit between us, one that neither of us think that much about and just act as we always do.

Maybe that’s the thing. For the majority of time, sex will not get between male and female friends, certainly nothing beyond innocent flirting. But maybe, every now and again, you become friends with someone of the opposite sex where sex will be an issue between you, acted on or not, unspoken or not. I certainly hold my male friends close to me. Where else can you get an endless supply of a variety of males for different occasions, some protect you, some can act as dates and others can do your DIY.

Two worlds colliding?

How many different sides to you do you have? And do any of them conflict with the other ones? I appear to have two main ones – my work self and non-work self. Though the two do overlap everyday, there are distinct differences between them and they often feel like they conflict with each other.

I work in mental health and spend my working days listening to people and advocating the benefits of establishing routine, not drinking excessively, remaining drug free and preaching the importance of mundane things such as budgeting, eating well, getting enough sleep and so on. To my clients, I am a confident, fair, sorted ‘grown up’ who leads a ‘good’ life. This is not the reality. In my personal life, I lead quite a chaotic existence. I drink far too much, rarely have food in the house, run out of money way before payday and generally get through the day by moving from one addiction to the other.

Don’t get me wrong, in some ways I am responsible, my rent and bills are always paid, I won’t do anything that would seriously compromise either my work or my beliefs but I seem to live a life of a teenager. I’m sure part of this is because I only really have to think of myself each day, I have no kids and I’m single, so I can essentially please myself.

So how do you know which is real? Is it the one that you are the majority of the time? In some ways I am paid to be how I am work and a lot of the time it feels like an act and I often feel hypocritical. I am the same in some ways, no matter what situation I’m in, but that’s more around my sense of humour and my general morals and personal ethics. How do you balance two very different sides to you? And what happens if the two worlds collide?

It's not a shameful thing.

Loud and proud about your love for it? Guilty pleasure? Or complete turn off? Yep, I’m talking about porn! I love porn and use it on a regular basis, either alone or when I’m with a partner. I don’t want to go into the whole exploitation of women thing (maybe another day, but for the record, I don’t believe that it is exploitative in the majority of cases), I’m more interested in the enjoyment in it and some of the taboo around it.

It seems to be much easier for blokes to admit they like porn. They talk about it with their mates and I’ve had male friends that have watched it together (not in a sexual way, I’m not sure what it’s about – maybe a strange male bonding ritual?). In some ways porn seems to be a rite of passage. I don’t know many people who haven’t seen ‘Debbie Does Dallas’, or found their Dad’s or older brothers stash of porn mags.

Two of my friends know that I use porn – my best mate (female) and a male friend. Oddly, I’m much more open about it with the bloke (we exchange links and have quite a few conversations about it!). I don’t know if this is because it stills seems like a very male orientated pleasure. Hopefully this will change. Anna Span is Britain’s first female porn director, making more female friendly porn. And that’s the good thing about porn, there is something for everyone, whether you want hard or soft or what ever your turn on is, there will be a film about it.

I know several male friends who use porn but their girlfriends either don’t know, or they don’t want to share it with them. This seems to be because the girlfriend either thinks their bloke shouldn’t be doing it and views it as a form of cheating (I’m really not sure how that works, don’t they masturbate or ever fantasise about anyone else? It’s NOT cheating!), or they end up comparing themselves to the female star, assuming this is what their partner finds attractive (yes, of course they do, but they are with you and understand the difference between reality and fantasy, blokes are much more visual than women, who tend to go for a whole package). Sharing porn with your partner can be fantastic and a major turn on. And to be honest, I would have thought the blokes should have been more worried considering the stamina (and size!) of some male porn stars.

So if you haven’t tried porn yet and you’re curious, then give a mainstream film like 9 songs or 9 and ½ weeks a try, then go from there. You never know, you might even like it.

A workplace tradition.

Hands up. Who’s done it? And did you feel guilty about it? Yep, throwing a sickie. We’ve all had days when we’ve woken up and just really not wanted to go into work. So then we have two choices – we either go into work, do very little productive stuff and mope about all day, or we call in sick! Now, we know it’s wrong and we know our bosses generally don’t believe us, but we also know that they can’t prove it!

However, there are some general rules and guidelines to pulling a successful sickie. Make it realistic, it’s got to be something that you can realistically ‘recover’ from in 24 hours – so you’re looking at the old faithfuls of food poisoning, migraine or the good old, (very) general stomach upset. Also, think before you phone. Most people automatically put on a ‘throaty voice’ when they call in sick, does it go with what you’re saying you’ve got? The next one is important. Very rarely call in sick on a Friday or Monday, these are the days bosses are looking for. Do not even consider on the Friday before, or Tuesday after, a Bank Holiday. If you do, you might as well call in and just tell them you’re throwing a sickie and you’ll expect your P45 on the desk on your return.

If you choose to deviate away from the illness call and use family emergencies, then remember what you’ve said before. Don’t be the person whose grandmother died four times (in fact, thinking about it, do not kill off family members, it’s just not nice). If you’re female with a male boss, gynaecological problems can be very useful (they can also provide further sick days, in the form of ‘appointments’).

Whilst you’re off, remember you’re meant to be sick. Do not go to the pub or shopping, you will run into someone from work! Also, do not sunbathe. How will you explain a nice shade of lobster when you were supposed to be on the toilet?? Sickies are days for lying on the sofa, watching daytime TV and eating chocolate biscuits!

Follow these guidelines and you should be able to relax and enjoy your day off. Long live the sickie!!

Disclaimer: the author can not take responsibility for anyone following these guidelines, getting found out and losing their job! All sickie throwers do so at their own risk.

Just a trim?

So what kind of girl are you? Brazilian, Hollywood, or au natural? That’s right I’m talking about pubic hair. Pubes, short and curlies, what ever you call them we’ve all got them, but what should we do with them? There seem to be a few theories about why we have ‘hair down there’; mainly around showing you’re ready for reproduction and for trapping pheromones. But at the end of the day it doesn’t matter why we have it, we have to decide what we want to do with it.

It seems each ‘style’ sends a different message. Leaving it alone and doing nothing, generally creates a reaction of ‘so how long exactly has it been then?’ and blokes tend to worry slightly about getting hair trapped in their teeth! There is something slightly disturbing about a brazilian. Yes, it feels nice (once it’s done! Don’t forget there are hairs ‘around the back’ that are also removed, by you getting into some very odd and intimate positions!), it’s clean and increases sensation. But it always strikes me as a disturbing cross between pre-puberty and porn star.

Then there’s the Hollywood. I had one of these, thinking this would be a compromise between the two. Not an overgrown jungle that the poor bloke would have to use a map to get to his destination and not something that would leave me feeling like a plucked chicken! All was going well, until I showed it to him and was met with “A go-faster stripe! Cool!”, not exactly the reaction I was looking for.

There are also those who create their own designs. We’ve all heard of the women who have created a piece of ‘art’, this seems to be around Valentine’s Day, when the popularity of hearts and red dye increases tenfold! I’m also sure we’ve all heard of the woman (urban legend or not) who dyed her pubes green and got a tattoo saying ‘Keep off the grass’.

Blokes don’t seem to worry so much about this for themselves. The most they appear to consider doing is a quick trim, though I suspect that this is to do more with gaining the appearance of a few more millimetres!

I’m not sure what the future of pubic fashion is; it certainly seems to change quite quickly. Maybe the answer is for everyone to get rid of their pubes and wear a merkin! I hear there are some fabulous designs out there…

In these shoes?

Crocs. What is about these shoes? Everywhere I look I see someone with a pair of these moulded rubber things on their feet, obviously very happy with them and feeling ‘trendy’. A walk down your local high street will show you the amount and range of people that are wearing them, I’ve even seen entire families (kids included) sporting these monstrosities.

Originally made as a boat shoe (I’m not going to go into the history, look here or here if you’re really that interested) they gained popularity through word of mouth. As the famous people began wearing them, they became the ‘in’ shoe to be wearing. There are also numerous websites devoted to them, whether you love or hate them. I also see that the company behind crocs are now cashing in and selling other products such as ponchos and T shirts.

Now, I can see that they must be comfortable. And I accept they are hygienic (wipe clean and all that!) and are recommended by podiatrists. But…they are so ugly. Why would you willingly wear a lump of plastic in ‘fun’ colours, just to look ‘cool’? These lumps are never flattering. If you’re on the larger side they do nothing to reduce your size and if you’re smaller you just look like you have freaky, giant feet! And why so many holes? I understand this allows sweat out and so reduces ‘stinky feet’ syndrome, but there is the cynical side of me that says this really must reduce manufacturing costs!

I know there have been cases of employers refusing to allow their employees to wear them to work because of health and safety reasons, as they have no backs. When I first heard this, I thought that there were at least some people with common sense. However, I have since found out that there are many different styles of crocs, including closed in ones, which most people can now wear to work.

I really hope this is a passing phase and people will finally realize that they have, yet again, been conned into a trend by the famous people and the media. I do not have a pair and have no intention of buying them. I can’t get away from the idea that someone has glamorized the orthopaedic shoe!

It's just a little kiss.

There is nothing more likely to scare and confuse us English folks. That’s right; I’m talking about cheek kissing. What was once the domain of the dreaded kiss from Auntie Mable, in which you desperately offered your cheek to stop the bitty, red lipstick and powdery whiskers from touching your own lips, is now standard practice. Everyone you meet seems to expect a kiss or two from you.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for kisses, and kiss my friends hello and goodbye on a regular basis. However, I don’t expect to have to kiss my colleagues, bank manger, waiter and the random people I meet on the street! Where do you draw the line? When is it acceptable? And how many times are you supposed to kiss?

We all know the scene – you’re at a party and being introduced to a friend of a friend. You both fumble and stumble, trying to decide whether a kiss is expected or not. Finally, feeling confident that you are about to kiss, you lean forward and deliver a quick (and hopefully, dry!) kiss on one cheek. Pleased that you have successfully negotiated a social minefield, you lean back ready to relax and meet a new friend, then realize to your horror that they are aiming for the other cheek now! Trying to cover up your gaff, you quickly move forward to administer yet another kiss. Then, disaster!, you bang them on the face with your nose, having misjudged the distance in your rush. Cue nervous and embarrassed laughter all round. The other scenario to this is you go to kiss someone and end up receiving one of those annoying, lovie kisses, you know, the mwah, mwah, air kiss ones. For Gods sake, either kiss or don’t. Unless you are actually an actor then do not do this, it looks pretentious.

We should all petition parliament to have a law passed that determines how many kisses are expected. The French kiss twice, the Dutch three times. Us Brits remain confused and seem to make it up as we’re going along! If we could have a legal number and also define the situations (and who with!) in which cheek kissing is expected, I’m sure we would all feel happier and embrace our inner kissers.

43things - goals and ambitions.

Goals. Ambitions. Dreams. Wants. Desires. Whatever you want to call them we’ve all got them. Even the people that I meet that say they have no goals have them, they just haven’t been able to put a name to them yet.

I’ve always been aware of what I want from life. Sometimes I’ve got a bit confused or I’ve been side tracked, but they’ve always been there. The problem I’ve had is to keep up the motivation to do anything about it, or just be able to put a plan together. Well, all this has changed in the last month or so. I stumbled across a site called 43things and it has really changed how I go about achieving things. When I first read about it I thought ‘yeah, right, it’s just another way to procrastinate or spend more time talking about what you want to do rather than doing it’. I was very wrong. What I found was a site that really helped me to focus on what I want and how to get there, as well as a group of people who are friendly and encouraging. I have to admit there is a feeling of being accountable to other people, though there is no pressure at all, just support and no one thinks anything about it when you give up on a goal for some reason. My list is ever changing as I edit goals, complete them and add new ones. There are big goals (buy a house) and small, fun ones (learn to juggle) and I find this works best for me. I also add ones I know I will be able to complete quickly. The act of being able to tick something off always encourages me to move on with the rest.

One thing that helps is the encouragement from other people. And I’m always surprised at the number of people who have the same goals. Sometimes you stumble across a goal that you hadn’t thought about before and decide to give it a go; 43things can open up new possibilities, which can only be a good thing. The only thing that concerns me is the amount of people that have the goals ‘I want to commit suicide’ or ‘I want to be anorexic’, there is something disturbing about it, though there is part of me that feels that subconsciously they must desire some form of help as they would be aware of what kind of response they will get – though maybe it is just the attention they need.

For anyone who likes lists and needs something to help them maintain motivation and focus have a look and see if it’s for you.

Sexuality and attraction

Let’s talk about sex. Or rather, let’s talk about sexuality. Two very different things. I was at a friend’s house for dinner the other week and we (after a couple of drinks!) ended up playing a game of ‘either / or’. You know the one – two options and you have to pick one, no ‘both’, ‘neither’ or ‘pass’, you have to answer! There were three of us, all female. We had done serious options (sight or hearing, love or money) and had inevitably ended up with sex ones (including George Bush or Gordon Brown – interesting responses!). The question was posed; a beautiful woman or an ugly man?

Now, I consider myself as heterosexual, though I have certainly been attracted to and fantasised about women. I have never slept with a woman, though when I was younger I have kissed female friends. However, that was nothing to do with sex, but more to do with putting on a show and getting attention from blokes in clubs (amazing the reaction you get, silly boys!). Sex is usually based on one of two things (if you have both at the same time, then good for you!): physical attraction or attraction to the person as a whole. We’ve all done it – set eyes on someone who has made us horny just looking at them, or realized over time that the person we know and consider a friend is much more attractive than we first considered them to be – that’s attraction to a person as a whole.

But in this scenario, sex with someone you don’t know and so based purely on looks, what would you do? Aesthetics are important to us, especially with sex, when we’re operating from a very basic level. It’s certainly easier for a woman to publicly say they think another woman is beautiful (though is often nothing to do with sexual desire, more an admiration of beauty), than it is for a male to say about another male. I’d be interested to know the answer from a male perspective (though I’m fairly sure what the majority would say) – so, blokes; ugly woman or beautiful man?

Sexuality is a fluid thing. Yes, we have our general preference, though attraction (if we talk about attraction to a person as a whole) is usually more to do with the person themselves than their gender.

And our answers? Two to one for a beautiful woman. I was in the majority. Think about it, what would you answer?

Socially accepted anti-social behaviour.

At the moment the whole of England is currently obsessed by the smoking ban. You either love it or hate it, it's either making you feel virtuous and righteous or, like me and the rest of us on the dark side, making you rebel and smoke more. I'm not going to go in to my thoughts about this as it will just turn into a soap box rant about Big Brother, human rights and governmental control. However, I will point out that if this to be taken in the way the government want us to, i.e. "We are protecting your and other people’s health", then I am looking forward to the day they ban the consumption of high fat foods in public places!

I would like to talk about another way of being inflicted with other people's bad habits and antisocial practices. I would like to talk about other people's children! Now, parents will tell you that it is their right to breed and that their little darling is just learning to express his emotions when he is screaming in a supermarket at a decibel level that would rival a pneumatic drill, and Darling Jane is exploring her creative side when she sprays some lurid coloured drink all over someone's sofa!

Just like non-smokers, I do not see why I should be subjected to other people's choices when all I am trying to do is finish my shopping. Yesterday, for example, I went to the shopping centre, just needing a few bits. The place, being a Saturday, was over run with small people believing this was their own private playground, whilst the parents looked on adoringly. I headed for the sanctuary of M and S's food hall, only to be confronted with more of the same - shouldn't there be some kind of minimum age limit in these places?!? Yes, I know I had a hangover, but in any state of mind I do not want to be stood in a queue for 10 minutes whilst the little cherub behind me alternates between kicking the backs of my legs and leaving me wishing I had industrial strength earplugs, whilst he makes his negative feelings towards vegetables very clear!

Don't get me wrong...as a rule I do not like children and certainly don't want any of my own, however, I love my niece's and some of my friend's children are pretty cool, though only in small doses. I just don't get why all parent's feel that it's only fair and, in some cases expected, that everyone else will recognize little Fred or Mary as the obvious genius they are and indulgently allow them to "express themselves" as they see fit. If the government launched a campaign for designated adult only areas in all public places they would have a very loyal supporter in me, I may even consider forgiving them for the smoking ban!

Music moves on.

So, today is the day that Prince has released his new album by giving it away in The Mail on Sunday, and what a reaction this has got! The outrage this has caused in some people is really quite shocking. There are ultimately two winners in this situation - Prince and the Mail. They've certainly created an event that has generated more publicity than either party could have hoped for. I switched on BBC News 24 this morning only to find myself watching an item about it. Now, I had expected a brief mention, especially due to the reaction to the release by the music industry, in particular that of the likes of HMV. However, I did not expect it to be one of the main stories, though maybe that was quite naive of me!

The Mail will more than certainly receive one of it's highest level of purchases today. I bought it and I never read the Mail as it does not sit well with my own personal views, so I only bought it for the CD, which I suspect many, many people will be doing. Who will refuse an album that costs £1.40? The Mail may well win a few new readers, which I guess is their ultimate aim. Prince has managed to create a huge amount of publicity for himself, mainly through free PR. He has been paid by the paper and will undoubtedly earn even more through tours and the trappings that come with that.

Some of the music industry and those selling CD's have joined forces in expressing their dislike for Prince's actions. They are shouting about the rapid decline of sales of CD's, which is very true. However, maybe they need to accept and recognize that the way in which we buy and listen to music has changed considerably over the last few years. The internet means that many people now download their music (legally or otherwise), whether it's singles or whole albums. Certainly many artists recognize this themselves. Ash have announced that they will no longer be producing albums, but will be releasing individual tracks. Gnarls Barkley shot to number one with 'crazy', through downloads alone. Many artists release a single for download quite a while before the physical single itself hits the shops. There are also those artists who hit mainstream listeners through popularity on the internet - think Sandi Thorn (though there are those that argue this was just a very clever, planned PR stunt!).

HMV have taken the decison to sell the Mail in their stores today. They claim this is the only way they can make the album available to their customers, though they seem to have missed the point. In this case we are not HMV's customers, we are in fact customers of the Mail. I can only imagine that they are hoping that if people buy their copy of the Mail in their stores, they will be enticed to buy more music whilst they are there. This is an acceptable retail trick, but please do not insult us by dressing it up with the 'we care about you getting this album' talk!

It also has to be noted that newspapers have been giving away CD's and DVD's for a long time now. True, the CD's tend to be of older artists and of complilations (I also bought the Mirror today and got a Jerry Lee Lewis CD!), but the principle is still the same. It is just that in this case an artist has decided to release his new album through this avenue. Maybe music retailers need to keep up with their customers and work with us, rather than struggling against the inevitable. CD's will never disappear completely, that was the fear for vinyl, which is increasing in popularity again. Yes, it is convenient to be able to download music, but there is something very satisfying about looking at a healthy collection of CD's!!