Public dancing solution!

Some of you are aware that my sense of rhythm is sorely lacking. I have made some progress recently thanks to dancing in Best Friend’s kitchen and embarrassing small children, but there is still vast room for improvement (though I did manage a Burlesque-like shimmy type thing the other day!).

I will not dance in public, unless I am under the influence of a serious amount of alcohol, and even then it’s pushing it. But I think I may have found a solution!

I have recently heard about these things called Headphone disco's. It seems that when you enter the venue, you are immediately issued with wireless headphones. Two different DJ’s play at the same time and you can choose which one you listen to. There is no music pumped into the club, it only comes through the headphones. So if you take them off, all you will see are people dancing to…nothing.

I guess it looks a little odd at first, a bit like a Mime’s disco, but imagine the potential. No one would be able to tell if you were a bad dancer as they would just think you were dancing to different music to them. However, I guess it could also make a good dancer look bad, but I don’t really care about that!

I need to find somewhere where they are using these. Not only could I dance in public without embarrassing myself or anyone who knows me, I would willingly pay good money to see those that think they can dance look as silly as me!

You dancin' ?

Dancing. You’re either a natural or not, you either have rhythm or not. I am not a natural dancer, nor do I have rhythm! The only times since I was 14 that I have danced in public have been when I have been very drunk or, when I was younger, under the influence of something more chemical based! Now, the extent of my dancing in public is a chair wiggle or, if I’m feeling adventurous, I will attempt a sort of shuffling feet, shaking hips, jiggle thing – believe me when I say it’s worse than watching your Dad dance.

When I was a kid I was sent to ballet. I didn’t do well at all and my teacher was despairing. Not only could I not get the moves but I was quite a tubby kid and, in my little pink tutu, I resembled a miniature hippo stomping round the studio! When I was about 12, the school I went to then had ‘dance’ as part of the P.E curriculum. My ballet days came back to haunt me. Though I was now much slimmer, I still couldn’t dance and could only watch those blessed with talent strutting their stuff whilst I still stomped round the room, even if I was now more giraffe like than hippo.

So there’s a large part of me that can’t believe what I am about to tell you. Best Friend and I are going to do this course. It’s one of four workshops, increasing in difficulty, run by the Ministry of Burlesque. I’ve been fascinated with Burlesque for ages now and would love to learn how to do it properly, it’s really sexy but without being sleazy at all. Also, the women are stunning. I never thought I’d be able to get anyone to go with me, but a few days after mentioning it to Best Friend, she said she’d like to come too. We both know that there will be a lot of both dancing and rhythm needed so we have been trying to get me up to a bearable standard by dancing in the privacy of her kitchen. I’m now at the stage where as long as I’m only moving either my feet or my arms then I can get by, both together and I’m back to stomping! At least it’s providing Best Friend with some entertainment…

I’m really looking forward to this, but have to admit, the thought of me learning the art of Burlesque and showing off my ‘moves’ makes me giggle. But what the hell – bring on the nipple tassels!

Music moves on.

So, today is the day that Prince has released his new album by giving it away in The Mail on Sunday, and what a reaction this has got! The outrage this has caused in some people is really quite shocking. There are ultimately two winners in this situation - Prince and the Mail. They've certainly created an event that has generated more publicity than either party could have hoped for. I switched on BBC News 24 this morning only to find myself watching an item about it. Now, I had expected a brief mention, especially due to the reaction to the release by the music industry, in particular that of the likes of HMV. However, I did not expect it to be one of the main stories, though maybe that was quite naive of me!

The Mail will more than certainly receive one of it's highest level of purchases today. I bought it and I never read the Mail as it does not sit well with my own personal views, so I only bought it for the CD, which I suspect many, many people will be doing. Who will refuse an album that costs £1.40? The Mail may well win a few new readers, which I guess is their ultimate aim. Prince has managed to create a huge amount of publicity for himself, mainly through free PR. He has been paid by the paper and will undoubtedly earn even more through tours and the trappings that come with that.

Some of the music industry and those selling CD's have joined forces in expressing their dislike for Prince's actions. They are shouting about the rapid decline of sales of CD's, which is very true. However, maybe they need to accept and recognize that the way in which we buy and listen to music has changed considerably over the last few years. The internet means that many people now download their music (legally or otherwise), whether it's singles or whole albums. Certainly many artists recognize this themselves. Ash have announced that they will no longer be producing albums, but will be releasing individual tracks. Gnarls Barkley shot to number one with 'crazy', through downloads alone. Many artists release a single for download quite a while before the physical single itself hits the shops. There are also those artists who hit mainstream listeners through popularity on the internet - think Sandi Thorn (though there are those that argue this was just a very clever, planned PR stunt!).

HMV have taken the decison to sell the Mail in their stores today. They claim this is the only way they can make the album available to their customers, though they seem to have missed the point. In this case we are not HMV's customers, we are in fact customers of the Mail. I can only imagine that they are hoping that if people buy their copy of the Mail in their stores, they will be enticed to buy more music whilst they are there. This is an acceptable retail trick, but please do not insult us by dressing it up with the 'we care about you getting this album' talk!

It also has to be noted that newspapers have been giving away CD's and DVD's for a long time now. True, the CD's tend to be of older artists and of complilations (I also bought the Mirror today and got a Jerry Lee Lewis CD!), but the principle is still the same. It is just that in this case an artist has decided to release his new album through this avenue. Maybe music retailers need to keep up with their customers and work with us, rather than struggling against the inevitable. CD's will never disappear completely, that was the fear for vinyl, which is increasing in popularity again. Yes, it is convenient to be able to download music, but there is something very satisfying about looking at a healthy collection of CD's!!